Journal #4
In reflecting on the mock-tutoring session that occurred during the last practicum, I find myself wishing I had done things a little bit differently. As the mock-fellow, I wish I had gained a little bit more report with the student. I think this might have helped (had it not been David’s job to be exceedingly difficult) my peer trust me. While I tend to approach things in an all-or-very-literally-nothing approach, perhaps it is more useful to gently ease into these meetings. Especially since we will be discussing the sensitive topic of writing, and there is a rather tricky, and highly stigmatized, power dynamic to navigate. In addition to engaging in some light-hearted conversation, I think it also might have helped to ask David what the assignment was according to him- sans rubric. I think the inclusion of this tactic in future meetings might help hone in on any misunderstandings that my peer might be unaware of, and that I could potentially catch— and hopefully clarify— before even reading the paper.
As a final overarching comment on my performance, I think it is important to regard it as just that: a performance. And even though I sometimes feel like I’m playing a role while I tutor (i.e. imposter syndrome) I don’t have the same safety net that being in a full class room supplies. So while I was able to direct my eye contact toward the other people in the room during the mock tutor session, there is no one else to look at when I’m one-on-one with a student. That social pressure is something that is pretty important to take into consideration. primarily because (like I said in class) it can very much trigger, that sympathetic nervous system reaction of ‘fight or flight’. Reflecting on that further, I usually don’t do either: I don’t really run away from problems, and I certainly don’t fight them. I’m more of a freeze and ramble type of gal. Using the mock-trial as an opportunity to consider my own reactions to surprising occurrences helps me estimate how I’ll approach talking about my peer’s writing as whole. For instance, perhaps— in order to quell these freeze and ramble reactions of mine— I’ll target the ’embrace the silence’ mentality suggested in The Longman Guide to Peer Tutoring.
The mock-trial, overall, helped me understand my own emotional reactions to unavoidable and sometimes unfortunate situations that arise whilst tutoring a peer. This is especially important as I head into next week, when I’ll officially be meeting with students in the class I’m a writing fellow for. During this critical time of first-impressions and first-drafts, I’ll draw on my experience in the mock-trial as a method of propellant and, occasionally, perseverance.
